Denial

Sure, I tell people that I'm not missing racing cyclocross this season. Given the Arizona climate I live in, I ask rhetorically, "Why would I want to go race on a dry grass field at a city park when I could go mountain biking?" Tame cyclocross over real mountain biking? Mountain biking, of course!

But, my true feelings come out, and show that I'm in a state of denial. In the last week, I've posted 2 cyclocross videos on facebook. I spent part of Sunday afternoon watching the US Grand Prix of Cyclocross on the internet. I look up Utah results every week. I watched Todd Wells crash- - over and over today. The truth is, I miss cyclocross. I miss the mud, the wet grass, the loose drifting feeling in turns, the run-ups, the barriers, and the 'scene'. I miss having so much fun racing that I jump in the next flite. (I really miss the Heber course, but I guess its gone for good.)

So why the denial? I think I'm scared. I remember the pain. The most miserable night of my life was after my first 'cross race. I was so sore, and kept having dreams that I was racing. I didn't stop racing all night, and I'd wake up so sore, only to drift off to sleep and dream of the pain some more. I remember watching Racer and Dan throw up after their races but before mine. Cross, as fun as it is, sure ain't easy.

I won't be racing any cross this year. I missed last year too. Someday though, I will race cross again. Until then, however, I will keep on my face of denial, although I'm sure you'll be able to see my love for the sport if you know where to look.